Everyone in Hell ship NicoTori
by YayaSamuko
Summary: Yaya is just a normal fan fiction writer. One day, she fell on idol hell. Will she survive seeing her idols in real? Will she be able to face realities? Will her ships get together? Will I be able to write a proper summary? Crack fic!


**Everyone in Hell ship NicoTori**

 **Genre: Humor, Parody**

 **Rating: T**

 _ **Yaya is just a normal fan fiction writer. One day, she fell on idol hell. Will she survive seeing her idols in real? Will she be able to face realities? Will her ships get together? Will I be able to write a proper summary? Crack fic!**_

[Introduction]

 _I'm Otonashi Yaya and I am an OC in this story written by YayaSamuko. Why did I even agree to go with this job?_

 _Anyway, I hate to admit it, but I don't get paid doing this. The truth is that I am just a fan of deep friendship shown in Love Live._

 _I am a Yuri fangirl, so I ship lot of Love Live pairing, including NicoTori, the main ship of this fiction._

 _So, we'd better start this story before the reader loses patience and give up on this story._

 _Fortunately, the author does not own Love Live or any of its character or it will only be shit… but unfortunately, YayaSamuko own me and I can tell you that psycho is not normal… You were warned!_

[Waking up]

An annoying sound was resonating on the small room. The sunlight lit through the glass window at the Northern wall of the room.

A hand was reaching for a cell phone placed on a chair near the bed. Second later, a head peeked from the stack of blanket, pillow and stuffed Pikachu on the bed.

Brown eyes half closed looked at the screen. It said 05:40 AM. She turned the alarm off and went back into her sweet sleep.

10 minutes later, it rang again and she cut it… only to ring back 20 minutes later. This time, she finally decided to wake up.

Yes, that is Otonashi Yaya's morning routine during school day. She was so lazy that she needed 3 alarms every morning.

Yaya hated waking up more that anything else in the world. Waking up meant going back into the real world and she didn't want.

In her dreams, she was glad to meet her waifus: Honoka and Maki; and her favorite ship: NicoTori _(Nico x Kotori just in case someone didn't get it yet)…_ And back into the real world means having to deal with her weird sister, weird teachers, weird friends and weird fiction readers ( _No hard feeling…)_

She just graduated from high school one month ago. She was now trying to get her driving license.

The raven-haired girl stood up from her bed and took a glance at her favorite Nico calendar-poster. She smiled at the sign of that cute smile. She jumped from the bed and made the cute little signature pose known by all Love Live fans.

"Nico Nico Nii~" Yes, that was Otonashi Yaya.

The lazybones quickly changed her clothes from her baggy dark-blue short and sky-blue shirt into a tracksuit. Yes, that was Yaya. She cared less about her appearance and even less about the other's opinions.

She was now facing the mirror where a small figurine of Eli was attached with it. She had down-to-shoulder length curly dark-brown hair that looked like raven with a certain dose of light. Her tsurime brown eyes gave her the look of a wolf, feared by lot of people. She was 168 centimeters tall and her three sizes were 78-60-80, C cup _(Don't ask me what 'cup' mean. Really, I don't know what it means)_

She dashed toward her room's door and took her phone in the way. She had a classic multi-buttons made in china mobile with some good-for-nothing application she uses to read fan fictions or browsing around internet. A Rin keychain was attached to that antiquity.

She placed a headphone on her head and attached it on her phone before playing the song 'Yume no Tobira' and dashing toward the exit.

Her sister was still fast asleep. Yaya just peeked in and gave the sleeping beauty a kiss on the cheek before walking down the stairs.

Her father was making breakfast. She was in hurry, so she just took 3 donuts and drank 3 glasses of water before dashing toward the exit after shouting "I'm off!"

[On the way to school]

Yaya was walking when counting the aunts she met on her way. She decided to walk because the school where she was learning car driving was just 1000 meters away from her house.

Her phone was now playing the song 'Live Wing Bell' as she encountered a dog. She hated dogs. She grabbed a rock and threw it with all her strength at the animal. It fled right away.

She was about to arrive when she was cut by a car. Its door opened and a woman walked toward her direction.

"Hello! You must be Yaya, right?"

"Yes, I am. May I help you, milady?"

Right at the moment, the woman reached for her and placed a handkerchief on her nose. The brunette passed after 4 seconds and was taken inside the car.

[Somewhere]

Yaya slowly opened her eyes. It was a very pink room. She was resting on a pink bed. She stood up and saw lot of µ's posters.

"So, you're finally awake." A gentle familiar-impression voice said. Yaya turned to the source of the voice.

"Wa-wa-wa-waaaaaa…" The brunette screamed as she was pinching her cheeks. She couldn't believe who was in front of her.

It was Kotori. Minami Kotori, you heard? Yaya realized that it wasn't a dream. What happened?

"As I can see, you are full of energy, so there's no need to worry." The little bird's smile was even cuter in person.

Yaya could feel her little gay hear beating really fast at that time. She always liked watching Love Live, but she could never imagine how intense meeting her idols would feel.

"Er… this is…?" She awkwardly asked.

"Ah… This is idol hell!"

"I see…"

The two girls looked at each other. An awkward silence took place.

"Are you surprised?" Kotori smiled awkwardly.

"No."

[Idol hell]

"So, in other words, I died?"

10 girls were sitting around a table at some random café in an Akihabara-like town. Well, we were never in Akihabara before in the first place. We never stepped on a Japanese territory to be more accurate.

"Not really! You were only sent into the Anime world." Umi explained.

"I see…"

"Your way back into the real world is to find the person who sent you here so the two of you can go back." Eli spoke. She was even more attractive in real.

"This pancake is so yummy!" Yaya said as she wasn't listening to the other's explanation.

Umi got angry and gave her a karate chop on the head.

[Lord of hell]

"So, if it's hell… then, who's the Lord here?"

"I am!" Kotori said with a smile. "My friends call me Kotori, but commoners prefer to call me Devil Lord or Evil Empress."

Yaya's mouth was agape at the sudden realization.

"Then… May I call you Kotori-sama?"

"Of course!" her smile, even with a dark aura is always so cute.

"Ahem…" Nico cleared her throat.

"Oh, here!" Honoka handed over some candies for the cold and vitamins.

The raven-haired girl threw the vitamins on the ground.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"I was just trying to gather everyone's attention on me! I never asked for vitamins!" Though, Nico decided to eat the candies. "Anyway, you better stay away from my Kotori-sama!"

Yaya made a 'what the heck' expression in her face.

"As you might not know, the great Kotori-sama is going out with the Universe's number 1 idol." The raven-haired girl made her signature pose.

"I see… So, Kotori-sama and Rin are going out?" The brunette misinterpreted.

"Nya?"

"After all, my favorite idol is Rin!" Yaya smiled at the cat-girl. The cat-girl rubbed the back of her neck and smiled awkwardly. _'How cute! I want to do this and that to her.'_ The brunette though.

"What the…" Nico made some shit-eating face expressions. "…I'm the world's number 1 idol! Everyone loves Nico Nii! Even Kotori-sama can't resist Nico's charm."

"That's right!" Kotori smiled.

'I thing that Kotori is going out with her just to tease her for fun… Poor Nico, I feel sorry for her.' Yaya though.

[Matchmaker]

"By the way, it's like a dream to be here. I want to do some matchmaker."

"What do you have in head?" Hanayo asked.

"I decided to pair you up with each other! Since NicoTori is already official, I will just give my support." Yaya caught Nico's hand. "Do not worry, Nico Nii-sama! By the end of this fan fiction, Kotori-sama will be totally falling for you!"

"What the…?"

"As for HonoMaki…" The protagonist turned to Honoka and Maki who were feeding each other.

The ginger was holding a spoon and the red-head was opening her moth, letting Honoka's offering cake in. She ate it and Honoka gave her a kiss on the lips.

"Mou… Honoka! We're in public, so please refrain yourself!" Maki pouted.

Blood was starting to flow from Yaya and Hanayo's nose. Poor girls have read too many Yuri manga.

Nozomi offered tissues to the two brunettes to wipe the blood in their nose away.

"In the case of EliRin…" The OC turned to Eli and Rin.

The cat-girl was eating ramen vigorously and her face was full of ingredients. The blond took a handkerchief and cleaned Rin's cute face.

"Thank you, Eli-chan! You are so responsive!"

"Mou, you're so careless. I always have to keep an eye on you. But I like being with you!"

"Eli-chan… You're just like a big sister."

"It's only normal! After all, I am a sister." Then, Eli fidgeted. "But I would like us to be more than just sisters." She murmured in a whisper that only Rin could hear.

But of course, without hearing, Yaya knew what was going on between these two. She had to use 2 more tissues this time due to the huge among of blood dripping from her nose.

"Next up is NozoPana…" Yaya turned to Nozomi and Hanayo.

The fortuneteller was giving the younger girl a massage. A real massage! Do not get carried away, this is a T fiction!

"Thank you, Nozomi-chan… My shoulders felt so tired. You saved my day." The brunette faced her ship-teased girl. "Is it all right if I invite you at the park next Sunday?"

"Is it a date~"

"Yes…" Hanayo fidgeted.

Yaya took a bite from her pancake. "I guess there is nothing else left for me to do! All my ships are already at their paroxysm. Too bad it's only in YayaSamuko's imaginations."

"Wait!" Honoka slammed the table. "What about Umi-chan?"

"That's right!" Yaya jumped from her chair and turned around. "We have to find Alisa!"

"HEY!" Umi and Eli shouted in unison. The others ignored their protest.

"Let's find her!" Honoka looked around. "Rin-chan!"

"Roger!" The cat-girl joined the two girls in their quest.

[Where is the cutest girl?]

"There she is!" Honoka was the first to locate their target.

Arisa was walking home after getting groceries. She had couples of plastic bags in hand.

"Operation AliUmi, start!" Yaya shouted.

Unfortunately for them, Umi could catch up and gave the three a karate chop each.

Honoka, Rin and Yaya were rubbing each other's head to ease the pain. Meanwhile, the bluenette was walking toward the blonde.

"Alisa, are you all right?"

"Yes, I am! Why are you so worried?"

"These idiots were following you."

Alisa let go of some giggles at the funny scene of a protective Umi.

"Thank you for protecting me, then!" The bluenette's face reddened at the quarter-Russian's smile.

[NicoTori banzai!]

"NicoTori banzai!" Yaya shouted out of nowhere.

"What the…?" The raven-haired girl watched in horror.

"Kiss… I want to see a kiss or I won't rest in peace!"

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… YOU IDIOT!"

"Pretty please, Nico-sama and I promise I won't ask anything else."

Nico rolled her eyes and met with Kotori's smile. "I guess it's no helping, then!"

They kissed in front of the Ayase household. Yaya secretly took a picture.

[Conditions]

"Satisfied?"

"Let me think…" Yaya placed her fingers on her chin. "…Since I'm here, it would be too bad to get back without bringing some souvenirs. Is it all right if we took pictures?"

"It's okay, but with one condition."

"What is it, Kotori-sama?"

"You have to wear clothes I choose for you. It would be too bad if you took picture in these old-fashioned tracksuits."

"But I like these thought… But a deal's a deal!"

With that, Yaya changed into Otonokizaka high's uniform.

"What's this? The skirt is too short. How could you even move in these?"

"Is there any problem? Though our school's skirt is one of the longest in Japan." Honoka answered

"Scary…"

"Or, could it be that you don't like skirts?"

"Well… You could tell it like that. I like cute long dresses, but I hate mini-skirt… Just looking at them gives me headaches."

"I see… Must be tough nya."

[How about the pictures?]

"Now, say 'cheese'!"

They called for Tsubasa, Anju, Erena and Yukiho and the 15 of them took one picture together, with the shrine as background.

"Thank you for answering to our call!" Yaya bowed.

"Well… We couldn't decline Kotori-sama's request. We only do this half-hearted." Tsubasa explained.

"I see…"

The 15 girls reorganized.

"Then, let's take couple's picture!"

"Bring it on!" Honoka's full-of-energy-ness still surprises me.

Yaya took a picture of Honoka hugging Maki from behind, then a picture of Eli lifting Rin in a princess-like hug. The next featured Nozomi and Hanayo holding hand _(Nozomi's left hand was holding Hanayo's right hand)_ and held a white lily flower _(Yuri no Hana)_ between them.

Next one was Umi linking arm with Alisa. The bluenette's face was red, but I guess it was still a good picture. It was followed by Yukiho and Tsubasa hugging each other, and then Anju kissing Erena's left cheek.

"There! I have them all!" Yaya made a small victory dance.

Nico looked at her. "Don't you think you forgot someone?"

"Of course not! Look! You are the cutest together!"

Yaya showed over the picture of Nico and Kotori kissing from earlier. The raven-haired girl's face reddened.

"Delete it!"

"No way! I will treasure it! What do you think, Kotori-sama?"

"It's OK for you to keep it for one condition: you give us both a print of this picture!"

"Right away!" Yaya ran toward a print center as Nico was looking at her lover with teary eyes.

The brunette was back in 5 seconds with 15 copy of the picture of Nico kissing Kotori. She gave a copy to each girl and took the last one.

Of course, she used a digital camera so of course, she could print these photos again… But she still wanted to keep it.

[Bye Bye!]

"Well then… I will be going! It was fun being with you, guys."

"Hein?" Umi wondered.

"You didn't listen to a word we said. The only way for you to go back is to find the person who sent you here." Eli continued.

"But I already found her." Everyone turned to the brunette. "Is it OK if I leave now, Kotori-sama?"

"WHAT?" No one could believe it.

And yes, the woman who kidnapped Yaya at the start of this fiction was Kotori. I bed you never expected that.

"I'm glad you had fun! I hope that you will support Sunrise and Love Live!"

"Count on me!"

"By the way, you can keep the camera and the uniform. And take this!" The little bird handed over a box. It was pretty simple.

As soon as Yaya opened the box, gazes went out of it. It took 4 seconds before the brunette loses conscious.

[Back to normal… er abnormal (?)]

Yaya reopened her eyes. She was inside a car. It was immobile.

"So, you're awake!" Kotori smiled.

"Oh… I got it! Bye, then!" The brunette exited the car and was now in front of the car driving school. She waved goodbye to Kotori who was driving away.

With that, the brunette dashed toward the school, hopping that she wasn't too late for today's lessons.

As soon as she entered, she heard silence. There was no sign of a single student. She watched the clock. "Weird… it is 10:45, so why isn't there anybody?"

That was when a woman walked toward her direction.

"Good morning, chairwoman!" Yaya greeted.

"Good morning, Miss Yaya! So, what brought you her today?"

"Well… I am here for classes, but I guess I am late."

The chairwoman broke into laugher. Yaya looked at her in horror. _'What's going on? Did I get the wrong world?'_

"You're really a funny one, aren't you?" The Principal wiped tears from her eyes for laughing her ass off. "Did you forget? It's Sunday! And school is closed on Sunday! In other words, there are no classes today."

Yaya's face reddened at the sudden realization. And yes, that happened a lot. Yaya was that kind of person.

[Welcome home!]

The brunette finally decided to go home. She ran on her way back.

She opened the door. Her parents were watching TV.

"How did it go?" Her mother made fun of her.

Yaya just rubbed the back of her neck. And no, she isn't a rebel toward a parent. And yes, she is a spoiled child, and yes her mother is the one choosing her underwear.

She decided to go upstairs and direct into he sister's room. The two sisters looked really alike. The only differences between them are height and three sizes. Her sister was taller, but was a little flat compared to her.

"Hey Ho!" she got in without restriction. "How was the day?" she felt direct on her older sister's bed.

Her sister got surprised while looking at her. "Yaya? It's rare to see you wearing skirt… And plus with yellow panties."

The brunette then realized how shameless she was and her face's color was matching Maki's hair.

"Hehe…"

"You're such careless."

"That's why I have an elder sister to take care of me."

"That's right!" The older sister joined Yaya on the bed and engaged themselves in a kiss.

They parted after some couples of seconds that seemed like hours for Yaya who felt her heartbeat accelerate.

"I love you, sis!"

"I love you too!"

After that, Yaya returned into her room and placed the digital camera on the desk and opened the three windows of her room.

She then turned her computer on and gave a stare at the big Love Live poster.

"Now, then… What kind of fan fiction should I write today?"

[The End]

 _So, that's Yaya's story!_

 _Please note that Yaya does not exist in real, so any resemblance that could occur in the real world is just coincidence._

 _By the way, if you have read this long, you might have understand why I warned you. You saw now how paranoiac, sadist, masochist, pervert and obsessed YayaSamuko is._

[Author's note]

 **Thank you for reading this story!**

 **I still plan on continuing my other stories, do not worry about it. I just got into author block on them, but I will try to find a way to continue them.**

 **That was all. I hope you liked this little crack fic. It took me about 2 hours to finish. I had driving class earlier and I got some free time so I thought why not. Note that this story was written on September 20** **th** **2016 at17:30, but I had problems with network.**

 **So, feel free to leave reviews and hopefully…**

… **See you next time!**


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